How Can I Obtain a Contact Order?
Q.
How can I obtain a Contact Order when I don't have an address for my wife and children? I only know the town they live in which is 100 miles plus away.
(D.T, 28 September 2008)
A.
First of all, in order to be eligible for a Contact Order, you must have what’s known as Parental Responsibility, which means either that you’re listed on the birth certificates of the children as the father, or you’ve obtained a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights).
Part of Parental Responsibility is the responsibility part, which means you’re almost certainly Paying Child Support of some kind. If you don’t have your ex’s address, it will likely be via the CSA (Child Support Agency).
However, don’t despair if you don’t have an address for your ex. You can go through the courts to obtain a contact order that will allow you time with your children.
You can apply to the court yourself, you will have to pay to submit your form but it is cheaper than the cost of a solicitor. You can use our article Which Court Form Do I Need? to find out which form to use and how to apply. From then on in you can represent yourself in court and with a little research you will be able to present to the court your expectations for contact and why you should be granted it. Read our article Representing Yourself in Court to get yourself started.
Of course, you can use family law solicitor to handle your case for you although you should be aware that the cost will be high.
Courts tend to work on a principle called “presumption of contact”, under which they do everything possible for a father to have contact with his children.
They will want a report on whether you can meet the needs of the child during a contact period, whether there’s any chance of harm coming to the child during contact, what the child desires, as well as their emotional and educational needs.
Although that sounds like a lot, it’s reassuring to know that some 90% of all Contact Orders are granted. If there’s a hearing then there will need to be a report from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service officer, and interview with you, your ex, and others.
It sounds involved, and it does take some time, but bear in mind that it’s really all in the interests of the children.
So the first real step is for you or your solicitor, if you choose to hire one, to petition the court to grant you a Contact Order for your children. It’s helpful if you can supply their address, but it’s not mandatory, and you’re not the only one who’s not in possession of his ex’s address.
From there the court will contact your ex, and in the best of all possible worlds, they’ll work out an amicable arrangement.
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I don’t want to ever see any off your (children ).because your there (mother )and they would be (no good anyway) having your genetics and personality traits .so do yourself a favour stop these blogs .
I win - 3-Jan-23 @ 10:50 PM
F you rel you (betrayed me ),your lucky I changed .I see you for who you are .busted ass yellow tooth fat ass harlot with a loose mick kiss my ass slapper .have on struggle street .
I win - 3-Jan-23 @ 10:03 AM
Good Evening Everyone, Ive recently had a Non Molestation Order placed against Me which is currently stopping Me having any Contact with My Children and would Like to ask wether Anyone can Provide Me with Any Advice?
Thank You
Sam
Sammy - 3-Jan-23 @ 12:22 AM
Hi Everyone I have a Contact order to see my son which has been on going for the last 7 years with my Ex- moving around with my son. Contact is every 2weeks. For the last 4 years they have lived in Truro Cornwall I live in LONDON. BUT now in 2020 I am in high debt and in financial trouble. I gave my ex notice of this at the end of 2019 to change contact to once a month. BUT after agreeing now threatening if I dont come every 2 weeks again. I need Advice.
Jimbo - 6-Oct-20 @ 9:20 PM
grandparent needs a contact ordeer.how to appply
clarity - 24-Sep-20 @ 9:48 PM
Hi.a month ago my ex took herself and our daughter out of my home where we were all in lockdown together.shes refusing me access and refused to try mediation.and I am in process of filling a c100.however this is going to take a long time and I need contact with my daughter in the meantime.is there any way to enforce this in the period between filling the c100 and it actually reaching court which can be months and if so how.any help would be greatly recieved
Broken - 18-May-20 @ 4:59 AM
Helo my ex girlfriend has just stopped contact with me an my family ive not seen my little girl since may 2019 i just dont no were to start to get the ball rolling if any one can help that would be great thanks
Chris - 10-Jan-20 @ 11:41 AM
Im trying toget back in contact with my kids in care. I sufferdwith a mental breakdown after the death of my baby girl followed by a 2 year battle with Wiltshire social services. Resulting in them being taken. This was followed by my marriage ending and becoming homeless, was broken and couldnt cope no more. Ive not seen my boys for free year and dont no how to find them
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Ulia Haynes - 9-Jul-19 @ 6:41 AM
My son does not to see his father bec he is verbally mentally and physically abusive.he does not pay maintenance but still thinks he can take me to court
Sal - 1-Jul-19 @ 7:45 PM
How do I get a contact order when my wife is refusing mediation and will only communiate via a solicitor?She has the kids suddenly saying that I am not safe to be with even though they've never been at risk with me.
Carl - 21-Jun-19 @ 12:10 PM
I've been separated from my wife for a year and I was seeing my daughter Imogen upto boxing day last year then my ex cut all points of contact and I haven't seen my daughter in 6 months and I've tried everything what can I do please I'm paying child maintenance
Nick
Nick - 18-Jun-19 @ 1:58 PM
My ex moved out nearly a year ago to move back in with his ex girlfriend, he stopped paying the rent on the house that myself and his two sons 7 & 2 were living in which made us homeless, he occasionally contacted the boys and after me begging him to see them and talk to them he did occasionally come see them, he always stayed over so the boys could see him before he left, he did pay child support but now things have got so bad between us that we don’t talk (which suits me fine if I’m honest) but now he is refusing to pay child support (which doesn’t really surprise me he did this to his daughter didn’t see her or pay for her for 16years) but also now when our eldest phones him he refuses to pick up the phone! He hasn’t spoken or seen the youngest in over a month, can I arrange contact at a contact centre for him to attend because he smokes drugs like cigarettes and I don’t want the boys around that as he’s so unstable,
I am a believer that all children need both parents in there lives even though we don’t get along this isn’t about us this is about the boys welfare
Lucylou - 16-Mar-19 @ 8:29 AM
Hi all,
I recently commented here a few weeks ago about applying to the court for a fair arrangement to be made and how the legal system and solicitors are slightly bias against fathers...even when you are doing your best!
I had second thoughts and decided to try mediation again, my ex would only go on the basis that I had to pay for the both of us! All I will say is pick your mediator carefully and have a couple of plans for what you feel is best for the kids and what also works for you before you go. The mediator can help, but I found I had to fight my corner and had to explain myself and how I can look after my children whereas my ex didn't. We are tying a new arrangement but I do still feel the system is bias as I had to work harder to come to an agreement and felt outnumbered in our session. Mediation works as well as you want it to. It's best to try sort things out in 1 appointment so it's not costing you going back for more appointments.
I hope some of this info can help or give some insight to fathers who are just starting out in this process. If you are going to your first mediation, it is very difficult but, be ready to negotiate, do not give into submission or pressure, be confident, stay calm, be polite, stick to your guns and don't agree to something you think is not right for the children or yourself. Dads do matter.
Billy - 25-Jan-19 @ 7:04 AM
@dave.my x use to make a (gig out me )with my (own family )we will see who is (laughing in the long run it’s not about her daughter) it about( my honour) .she is going be taught a (life lesson )she( burnt the wrong men with me )yeah it’s immoral what she done and I am not a (Christian or a Muslim ).its a (laurie thing) and I don’t hold the men responsible I hold (her responsible )again it’s a (laurie thing .)its just time they will( slip up )and when they do she will get a (shock off her life) and be (begging for forgiveness )I (swear) that on the (laurie bible ).
Chris - 20-Jan-19 @ 2:32 PM
I have recently split up with my wife of 17 years , we have 4 children who i have not seen since we broke up over 8 weeks ago , i have tried contacting the oldest children girls 16 & 13 who have said they are not ready to talk with me and i have been told by my ex my boys who are 10 & 6 dont want to see mee either. My ex discussed all the detailsof the break up with the girls and i feel gave
the girls a negative opinion on me which i dont think sheshould have.What rights do i have for access to my kids as i feel they are missing out by not having contact with me and i would do anything to be able to speak with them.
Dave - 20-Jan-19 @ 5:46 AM
my ex partner has stopped me from seeing my daughter for the past year. I've tried going to her house, contact over the phone, but she has blocked my numbers an I just get turned away when I go to her house. what can I do about this as I cant even contact her for mediation as I have no contact with her?
GC - 13-Jan-19 @ 11:57 AM
Hi, I'm separated with my wife for over 3 years now. Contact with my two sons (9 and 12) was always a bit of an issue. At the start she agreed to boys staying with me every other weekend plus half of all holidays (Halloween, midterm break, Christmas, etc-note she forced it to be below 104 nights a year), this was however really based on her plans, I was getting refused contact ona number of occasions. Last year I had to file for Specific Issue Order as my ex would not allow my older son to apply to a school closer to my home. Court ordered that my son will go the the school he wanted (the one I filed for) and at the same time we met with child welfare officer to discuss contact pattern moving forward. It was agreed that both boys will stay with me every weekend for one night (Friday/Saturday) and older son will also stay one night during the week - Wednesday. I have recently received a letter form my ex's solicitor saying that this contact pattern "didnt not work for his client" and she wanted to go back to the previous, biweekly rota. My solicitor responded to this saying that we dont see any need for a change however my ex still forcing this change and wont let me see my sons every weekend. After 3 years of struggle I still dont know when is the next time I will see my kids. Is Child Contact Order my only option? What are my options to force solicitors agreement? How likely it is to get shared residence if all criteria from a child wellbeing point of view are meet?
Slav - 19-Nov-18 @ 9:14 AM
Hi, I'm separated with my wife for over 3 years now. Contact with my two sons (9 and 12) was always a bit of an issue. At the start she agreed to boys staying with me every other weekend plus half of all holidays (Halloween, midterm break, Christmas, etc-note she forced it to be below 104 nights a year), this was however really based on her plans, I was getting refused contact ona number of occasions. Last year I had to file for Specific Issue Order as my ex would not allow my older son to apply to a school closer to my home. Court ordered that my son will go the the school he wanted (the one I filed for) and at the same time we met with child welfare officer to discuss contact pattern moving forward. It was agreed that both boys will stay with me every weekend for one night (Friday/Saturday) and older son will also stay one night during the week - Wednesday. I have recently received a letter form my ex's solicitor saying that this contact pattern "didnt not work for his client" and she wanted to go back to the previous, biweekly rota. My solicitor responded to this saying that we dont see any need for a change however my ex still forcing this change and wont let me see my sons every weekend. After 3 years of struggle I still dont know when is the next time I will see my kids. Is Child Contact Order my only option? What are my options to force solicitors agreement? How likely it is to get shared residence if all criteria from a child wellbeing point of view are meet?
Slav - 19-Nov-18 @ 3:15 AM
My son is working outside the EU but is having difficulty with his exwife keeping to the agreement that he telephonethe mobile he supplied once a week.Unfortunately his exwife is having difficulty in turning the mobile on at the agreed time so that my son can get through to his eight year old daughter.In the last eight weeks the phone has only been on for three of those weeks.What forms would we need to complete bearing in mind that he will not be returning to the UK for two years and I will be acting on his behalf. Can someone please let me know how we can proceed to get a contact order.
doctordolittle - 15-Oct-18 @ 8:12 PM
My ex wants to move my son schools when she moves house which will impact my access with him and he is becoming very distressed at the thought of moving schools. I have asked that she consider taking him to school as she works in the town in the mornings and I will pick him up afterwards and take him home to her when she finishes work but she is reluctant to agree.Is there anything I can do to stop her moving my son schools or gain a court order to prevent this. We are in Scotland
Dave - 17-Sep-18 @ 5:52 PM
Sue - Your Question:
I want to apply for a contact order.to see my grandchildren.how much will it cost me ?
Our Response:
The link here, which should tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 30-Jul-18 @ 11:45 AM
My friend had 7/7 (one week off, one week on) agreement with the mother of his children. They had previously agreed that he would pick the kids from her then she will pick the kids from him so it can be fair. Recently, the mother decided to change her mind and used the argument that because the kids are under her care, he should be picking them and dropping them. He does not agree with this and she is withholding the kids unless he agrees to the new change. What are his options and is she allowed to do this despite agreeing to equal picking earlier?
love123 - 29-Jul-18 @ 4:27 PM
I want to apply for a contact order.to see my grandchildren.how much will it cost me ?
Sue - 29-Jul-18 @ 2:14 PM
jj - Your Question:
My ex is really bugging me with contact to my child, she send me abusive messages saying im.off with other girls when im not and she is telling me I can have contact then changes it all the time she never sticks to the agreed days and I feel my life is on hold waiting for her to agree my next lot off contact. I have concerns as when I do see her she is very upset as she jasnt seen me in a while and is crying she as missed me what can I do its breaking my heart
Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. The link here , will tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 20-Jul-18 @ 10:18 AM
my ex is really bugging me with contact to my child, she send me abusive messages saying im.off with other girls when im not and she is telling me i can have contact then changes it all the time she never sticks to the agreed days and i feel my life is on hold waiting for her to agree my next lot off contact. i have concerns as when i do see her she is very upset as she jasnt seen me in a while and is crying she as missed me what can i do its breaking my heart
jj - 19-Jul-18 @ 10:38 AM
Hi,
My friend is currently being denied contact with his child. His partner has saved a raft of messages sent from his saying aggressive and violent things, he suffers from mental health issues and has regularly uses cannabis.
She has refused the idea of a contact centre and/or MIAM meeting and has insisted things should go through the courts. He can't afford legal representation.
Is this legal? And can I represent him as a McKenzie Friend. Would her solicitor only engage exclusively with my friend and not myself?
Any help is appreciated.
Gaz - 26-Jun-18 @ 11:52 AM
Lew - Your Question:
My ex left me for her previous ex ive got a 2yr old son with her shes refusing to let me see him im not registered on the certificate but I was there for him till I found out and she got rid and wouldn't let me see
Our Response:
You would have to apply to court, if your ex will not consider mediation. Please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 21-Jun-18 @ 3:28 PM
My ex left me for her previous ex ive got a 2yr old son with her shes refusing to let me see him im not registered on the certificate but i was there for him till i found out and she got rid and wouldn't let me see
Lew - 21-Jun-18 @ 5:37 AM
My ex and I are separated and she constantly uses the kids against me as a wepon she previous has 2 kids from previous relationships removed from her care how can I get to see my kids without her stopping me and a contact order can I apply for one without a solicitor
Tell - 11-Jun-18 @ 5:21 PM
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