What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate
Q.
I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.
The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.
I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.
(A.W, 14 September 2008)
A.
Essentially, the fact that your name isn’t on your birth certificate means you have no legal rights over your son, unless his mother allows it. If it were there, you’d have exactly the same rights as his mother and be able to make decisions about him.
So, as things stand, she could have him live with you, but she’d also have the right to demand that you return him at any time, and there’d be nothing you could really do about it, which isn’t good for either you or your son.
However, there is some good news. If both you and your ex sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and file it with the courts, you will have full parental rights over your son. If you can get your ex to agree to this, you should do it as soon as possible. That way, if your son does come to live with you and you ex demands his return, you have legal grounds for Contesting The Custody.
If she won’t sign, you could take the matter to court and apply for a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights), but it will generally only be given if the court believes it’s better than not granting an order.
You’d also be very well advised to have her put in writing that’s she giving you custody of your son. If not, she could feasibly turn around and say you snatched him. It might also be advisable to seek a Residence Order if your son comes to live with you. Seek legal advice first, as it may not be possible to get one.
If there is a problem further down the line, and your ex wants your son back, the court will try to take into account his wishes, too. Certainly a big rejection by his mother is a terrible thing, especially if she did it in front of him – so it’s understandable.
You didn’t mention if you’ve had contact with your son since you and your ex broke up. Nor do you mention how your current partner feels about the situation – which is important. Would she welcome your son into your new home? It’s important do discuss things fully with her and make sure you have her agreement.
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I have a parental rights order in place but I don’t have my name on child’s birth certificate. For 5 years she been refusing me t have it on and in early days said I had t prove myself t have it on however 5 years pass I love my son dearly I have him on a ok basis could be better but is what is she is also fighting over it . Am I wrong for wanting it on a certificate and can a judge stop me from having it on . I have done nothing t deserve this . She has lied t me about this saying I will get it on it lied about wanting t try again and soon as certificate is mentioned she walks away and it’s never mentioned again until we basically have a fight by text . I can be awarded the name on it no problem surely
Frankiec - 26-Jul-23 @ 10:07 PM
I was in a short term relationship with my girlfriend who told me she couldn't conceive
After a few months she informed me she was pregnant
Prior to this I knew she had mental issues but cared for her
She was abusive controlling and had mood swings
We broke up
At present
She wouldn't put me on birth certificate
Is being very difficult in allowing me to see and bond with my son
Continues to control change and make it difficult to visit and see my son
I cannot afford legal help
I am asking for advise regards me trying to bond and have consistent visitation with my son to build a healthy relationship with him
My other concern is her mental health and how that will impact on my sons development happiness and welbeing
Kieran - 30-Sep-22 @ 8:10 AM
I have had son in August but his mother don’t letting me put my name on his birth certificate and I couldn’t see him when I want to see my child . So what I should do and we’re I should go for my rights .
Nandra - 7-Dec-21 @ 11:10 AM
Hi I'm looking for some advice for my brother he had an affair with a lady for 5 years, they got pregnant and she told him she wanted him to leave his family and he and her should go and start a new life together, he didn't leave his wife and she moved, got with someone else and told him the baby was his and register they baby in the new man's name, he hasn't been able to find her but found out she had a daughter, does he have any rights as child wasnt registered in his name and he doesn't know where she lives?
Any advice appreciated
Ann - 11-Aug-21 @ 2:58 PM
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Peter - 13-Apr-21 @ 7:00 AM
My son is not on his sons birth certificate though he is the biological father proven by a DNA test.
He's paid £200 every month since the child was born and had contact for the 1st year. There has never been a relationship between him and the baby's mother.
The mother suffers from irrational behaviour and thoughts and has caused great anguish to my son, posting horrible comments about him on social media and sending hundreds of irrational and vile texts. All of which have been lodged with the police. Due to this, he had to stop the contact 6mths ago because of what she was implying.
He has recently contacted her to set up mediation to try and see his son. He would like to have him 50% of the time, so I suppose that would be joint custody.
But is now worried about what effect involving the police will have on his chances of seeing his son.
Should he forget about involving the police and go for mediation and if this doesn't work go for a Court order. Or carry on with the police investigation and then apply for a Court order for joint custody.
grandmamiffs - 9-Feb-21 @ 4:05 PM
Hi, I am wondering I anyone can give me some advice.
I have a 5 year old. Who very rarely sees her biological father. At a push she will see him once every 3 months for a weekend. Without any communication in-between.
He is not on my daughter's birth certificate, he did however get a DNA test done when my daughter's was 1 year old. (Not because of an affair but because he got married and wanted out of the responsibility of our daughter)
I worry about what will happen to my daughter if I was to die.
At the moment I live with my mum, my daughter has an amazing bond with my family and also with my partner. I worry so much that if she was taken to live with her father she wouldn't see her family that she has been with all these years.Her biological father lives 3 hours away from us. I would like to know what his rights are if something happened to me. Would she automatically go to him? Should I write a will or is that pointless?
I appreciate any advice anyone can give me
Many thanks x
Rachel - 11-Jan-21 @ 1:26 PM
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Mally - 29-Dec-20 @ 8:07 PM
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Wake up!! - 29-Nov-20 @ 4:03 AM
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Desi - 14-Nov-20 @ 3:50 PM
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Sue - 2-Nov-20 @ 9:33 AM
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Lefa - 27-Oct-20 @ 8:32 AM
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westy - 22-Oct-20 @ 8:17 PM
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Curt - 16-Oct-20 @ 9:59 AM
You all men are wicked leaving your women when they're pregnant abandoning them and now you want your child
Ada - 20-Sep-20 @ 1:25 PM
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Jon - 16-Sep-20 @ 4:44 PM
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AZZ - 8-Sep-20 @ 10:39 PM
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Dai - 29-Aug-20 @ 7:47 PM
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jim - 4-Aug-20 @ 6:50 PM
What do I have to do if my child has someone else's surname? - Ted
Charry - 14-Jul-20 @ 11:07 PM
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Blog Black - 14-Jul-20 @ 3:25 AM
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Jimbob - 25-Jun-20 @ 7:25 PM
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Adam - 7-Jun-20 @ 8:19 AM
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Danlfc - 29-May-20 @ 1:25 AM
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Niknack - 21-May-20 @ 2:12 PM
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Lost - 7-May-20 @ 4:42 AM
My xwife and i got a divorce...few months later she was pregnant..she had child while we was divorced..she signed as legally married to me so child got my last name on birth certificate...what can i do
Lilron - 6-May-20 @ 11:30 AM
@stevieg84.plus I don’t have any contact or ever received photos or have known there whereabouts or ever had any part off her life for 13 years .so that’s why it’s easy for me tell myself I never had a daughter and never was a father .me I have my mates and I stick with( my kind and couldn’t be happier).i have a a lot off I wouldn’t say power but pull in my circle and know they look up to me .now I think it’s best she say with her mother and partner and I mean that in my heart .i said what I wanted to say in (messages nothing else to discuss end off story time to move on ).
C.laurie - 11-Apr-20 @ 8:33 PM
@stevieg84.i am in the same situation.i can tell you what not to do if she won’t answer your calls (STOP CALLING MESSAGING NOW )with that kind off time frame she most likely would have thought you have (giving up ).now what you must do see seek( legal advice this is your only option if it’s been eating you up inside) .for myself I have (giving up )I tried to change but I was (angry) and i sent threatening messages and challenges to her partner to come (fight me )I didn’t care about (police listening) to my messages I really (lost my head like years ago) .and hate that because when I get like that it’s (dangerous I fear nothing I would fight police and have in the past ).in my situation and (knowing myself) it’s best for me to give up my mind is made up now .i never had a (daughter that’s what I tell myself and it works ).
C.laurie - 11-Apr-20 @ 8:09 PM
I haven’t seen my son since he was 3 months old,he’s nearly 8. I have taken my ex partner to court and won parental responsibility, but I’m still not named as the father on his birth certificate.
If I’m not on the birth certificate, should I be paying child maintenance? The reason I’m not seeing him is because my ex partner states that he’s not well enough to have any contact with me.
I want to keep paying my initial payment but the payment as significantly increased this year and now I’m struggling to pay.
Baggies - 11-Apr-20 @ 4:18 PM
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